Vie has her first tantrum

Everyday I walk like a dog trying to work out the best position to be in for sunset, sunrise, what to photograph in the middle of the day and so on. It's not easy because you rush against time, especially in a city like Bangkok, known for its chaotic traffic. It's all true.

But something funny happened to me yesterday. Well, funny is not quite the word.

I had finally found, after many days of research, the place where I'd take a sunset shot of the riverfront, with its nice buildings, showing the modern x old architecture of the city. Perfect shot. The place is on the top floor of a 2 star (ish) guesthouse where there is a restaurant and bar. Not bad, I thought. I'll have a long deserved beer after sweety battlle trying to beat the traffic.

I took the train to the pier and the boat as the river is the only place you are guaranteed to move! I allowed plenty of time so was not in a worry, but kept watching every moving degree of the sun, in a frenctic monitoring only photographers understand.

Thinking I now know Bangkok like the palm of my hand, and with the confidence of a peacock, I jumped on the first express boat. If you have ever been to Bangkok, you know what it is like: they come and dock for 10 seconds. You either jump in or it is too late. So I went for it.

Wrong. This express boat would not stop at the pier I wanted. So I got off in the next stop and took another boat which would, if all worked out, then drop me off back at the desired pier. Right?

Wrong. The second boat I caught was also an express one, much to my, then, beginning of a concern.

The sun started to become more and more faint, the saturated colours came in, and I could tell it was now time to be unpacking my gear and setting up my camera angles.

I got off at the closest spot and by my calcullations I was only one pier away, so nothing a tuk tuk couldn't do.

Now, I must tell you something: tuk tuk drivers cannot, I mean CANNOT read maps. My Thai is restricted to 'hello' and 'thank you', so I always have a map handy and do the pointing language, which works fine, except for today.

The other problem is that (maybe out of politeness) Thais nod their heads and pretend they know exactly what you're on about, when, in fact, they don't. I am poking my head outside the tuk tuk so I can see and check on this guy's sense of direction, and, to my surprise, we are in Chinatown!!!!!!!

This is not the place to be at 6pm! Crowded, polluted, black smoke everywhere, when I notice I am the only one not wearing a pollution mask! Nothing mattered much though. At this stage my heart is racing, I am starting to feel despair, it is my last night in Bangkok and I cannot miss this chance.

I start to raise my voice and point to my map, acting like a ridiculous, out of context "farang" (how they call foreigners), doing exactly what I had been told not to do. Rage sinks in and boy, let me tell you, when I get angry, I go blind. I fear myself with anger, it is not a pretty scene.

The tuk tuk man then stops in a bar and gives the map to another man who seemed to speak a little more English. The man takes a lupe out of his pocket and takes forever analising the map, as if it is a 13th century piece of relic. Was he blind? At this stage I am cringing my fists, I had already shreded another map (yes I carry at least 4 maps, in case any of them cannot be understood). Luck was not on my side.

The man still could not work it out and a discussion starts between the tuk tuk driver and him, as if a serious political debate is taking place. I cut the talk short and say thank you and tell the driver to go. I clinge to the last hope by now the driver will know his whereabouts. When I look out again, I see the Victory Monument which was even further out!!!! The driver obviously had no clue whatsoever.

I am already cursing in Portuguese, the nastiest names, shreding a second map to pieces and in a impulse (as not to have a worse tantrum right there) I leave the tuk tuk, give him the money and walk away.

I then notice something missing: my camera!

Don't ask me how I did this, but I could now only see the tuk tuk further and further away. I screamed a gutural sound, from within, strong as nothing I have ever heard in my life, and ran like I never thought I could. The tuk tuk driver stopped, I believe by now he thought I needed to be checked in at a psycho hospital. He looked scared. I grabbed my camera and said nothing. I walked and caughed, walked and caughed until I hired another tuk tuk, because now, 2 hours later, it was a matter of honour to arrive at my destination.

It was too late and my anger wanted to revert to tears. I always cry when I get this angry. It's just that the frustration level was, hitherto, incredibly high. But I was not going to let it happen. The trouble of not speaking the language (when I usually can speak 5) was evident. The second tuk tuk driver I hailed noticed my despair and tried to help. He was kind and could read the map and dropped me close enough after another half hour going in circles in the area of the hotel.

-"Madaam I know but I don't know, Madaam!!!"

I got off the tuk tuk and ended up walking with no direction, in this residential area, with no turists and interesting thai bars and families getting together, mothers bathing their childs on the sidewalk... when out of nowhere, a Thai woman with perfect English asks me: where are you going? I tell her where, skeptically and hoping the follow up questions would not come up now. The follow up questions are:

where are you from?
Brasil? ohhhhh soccer? Futbol?
Ronaldo?
Samba?
very hot very very hot, madaammmmmm

This scenario repeats itself over and over again as I smile acting surprised and fresh, as if it is the first time I ever establish this conversation with a Thai. They are kind people, after all, and the absense of Thai is only my fault.

So this woman kindly tells me she would take me there. After a zig zag through impossible laneways, I made it to the top floor. Certainly too late, but nevertheless, I took the photo sipping my cold Zhinga.

The following day I was especially kind to all drivers I had, and I tipped all of them well.

I guess my consciousness cleared out.